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Putting It Off

So it's basically been a week since I've posted.  Honestly it's because I just don't want to think about things all that much.  My appointment with my gynecologist, Dr. F, was last Wednesday and after going over my charting he agreed that something was probably going on and testing was in order.  So on the 20th I'll be going in to get my progesterone and prolactin levels tested, as well as having a tsh reflex test done.  I've been putting off this post because I thought I'd want to write about what each would mean, and would, therefore, need to do a lot of research.  Turns out I don't really want to do said research.  I'm having a hard enough time knowing that there is something wrong, let alone really looking into what all the possibilities are.  I know the basics- in looking at yaz and infertility prior to seeing Dr. F I kept hitting progesterone over and over again when discussing lack of ovulation.  As for the prolactin- he wants to test that since my left breast has been producing (more than a bead, less than a stream, or a "bream" as F put it to lighten the mood).  So my basic understanding is milk in breast = maybe too much prolactin = inhibited ovulation.  Finally, I did end up looking up tsh because I had no idea what that meant.  Turns out that's a thyroid test.  I wouldn't be surprised if that was wonky.  I'm heavy and hypothyroidism runs in my family, though the women in my family don't typically need to go on meds til menopause.

Dr. F then started discussing options.  Well, one option.  He said if the test came back low or high or whatever (he rattled off a range of numbers and said what his magic cutoff number was but at that point all I heard was INFERTILEDEFECTIVESICKNOBABIESFORYOU) that he'd want to put me on clomid.  In my vaguely dissociative state I sort of remember him asking me if I'd done research on clomid (why would I have?) and I sort of remember saying no, I'd never heard of it.  He said something about what days I'd take it and what days I'd need to have sex and starting with one pill then testing hormone levels again and maybe having to up it to two pills.  I do remember him saying that twins was a side effect.  Funny how that little tidbit of info will act as a verbal bucket of cold water in your face.  I wouldn't mind having twins the second time around (because then I'd have my magic 3 number and husband would have to suck it up- haha) but NOT the first time around.  So I'll be doing research about alternatives to clomid, should it become necessary.  In the mean time I just don't want to read anything else until I have results directing me to relevant areas of literature.  No use freaking myself out any more than I already am, right?

Weekly Weigh-In

Yesterday was my first official weigh-in.  I think I'll keep it on Tuesdays since I always have those off and can weigh in at the same time each day.  Anyway, I was a little nervous- I haven't been 100% perfect this past week.  I was pretty sure I'd lost though.  5.6 pounds to be exact. I know some of that was water retention and that I can't expect to lose that much every week because that would be unhealthy, but I'm still pretty excited.  Especially given the week I've had.  The job transfer fell through so I'm stuck at the hell hole.  I'm fairly certain I'm not ovulating at all (I've been charting for 4 months now and the first line NEVER gets darker than the second line).  I've been doing a lot of research on that and it seems that people who've been on Yaz often have that problem.  So I'm scared and angry about that.  I've got a doctor's appointment later today to talk to my obgyn about it.  I've been stressing out over that all week, too.  Typically I'd have spent every waking moment at home drowning my sorrows and stress with food.  I still sort of did that, but I had tons of celery and light popcorn in the house so I didn't really sabotage myself the way I'd have liked to. 

Anyway, I'll focus on the positive- I lost 5.6 pounds in a week.  Go me.